Today was basically like an emotionally draining therapy session I got to skip almost all my classes for. Beforehand I thought ‘Man I’m over all my past problems, I’ll be alright’. But the second it was my turn to talk my hands got clammy and started shaking, my heart raced out of pure anxiety, and my voice did nothing but crack - all of which led to some intense bawling. I found it rather interesting that my past problems of the rock bottom phase of my life affected me as if I was still going through it. Of course I felt uncomfortably vulnerable, but I came to realize that my past having that much power over me had a lasting effect I didn’t even realize - fuel to keep going. Crazy how something that was so dark and detrimental is why I get up in the morning. Getting through the roughest of bullshit provided this strength I would have otherwise never possessed but still keeps me grounded and humbled knowing  where I once was.

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